Proverbs 24:3-4 says “By wisdom a house is built, through understanding it is established…. it’s rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.” Marriage takes the wisdom from God to be built on a strong foundation. The meaning of wisdom comes from both divine and earthly wisdom. Heeding wisdom in marriage in part would be seeking to understand one another. My husband Jo-Jo is a great listener because he asks excellent questions. He doesn’t just scratch the surface. He digs deeper and deeper, little by little, often helping me to get at the root. He seeks to understand and bring understanding by helping me articulate in my own words treasures that are deep inside. Create a culture of understanding in your marriage by learning to ask thoughtful questions that lead to great dialogue. This will only add treasures and increase in understanding one another.
We’ve heard many times that the Kingdom of God is an upside-down kingdom. In order to go high, we must get low. But getting low means humbling yourself, which is never an easy thing. Due to being raised in a large family that was extremely athletic, I am a very competitive person. I don’t like to lose much, probably like most people. But competition within a marriage doesn’t seem to work very well. Someone wins and someone loses, and in the end no one wins. In James it states that “God opposed the proud, but gives grace to the humble”. Confessing pride and seeking to be humble is an extremely powerful weapon in marriage. When I get low, in humility, there is grace released in our marriage. That grace empowers me to be someone who is teachable. God gives me grace to love my husband better than I could ever on my own, which is definitely a win-win!